A Very Spooky Guy

A few Halloween's ago, my friend Mauvia sent me this green singing Hamster.

It makes me happy.

During the Halloween season (and after), it sits on the kitchen table and every time I pass it, I push the button and rock out.

I'm a very spooky guy!

The kind you don't take home to Mother!

Unfortunately, Spree has taken a strong dislike to the thing. He hisses, he screeches, he flaps his wings and flies away.

I admit.. sometimes I tease him with it.

Poor Spree.

But for some reason, he isn't afraid of the vacuum. In fact, he'll sometimes even go after it if it's doing something he doesn't like.

Like... sucking up dirt. I have to put him in his cage so he doesn't get sucked up too.
I'd take a picture of him vs. the vacuum, but my vacuum is in the shop. Apparently a hundred dollar vacuum can't survive vacuuming up the edge of a blanket.

The blanket didn't survive either.

Listen to Spree complaining in the background. "I'm a Super Freak! Super Freak!"
If I was a little bird, I'd think a huge sucking vacuum would be much scarier than a little green singing hamster.

Maybe he was traumatized as a baby by a green hamster.

Puberty

I was complaining to Sister Thomas after Choir on Sunday.

I run, swim, bike more than twice a week and am now slow, fat, tired, and sometimes moody.

"Must be puberty," she said.

Puberty?! At 33?! 32? 33.... 32... Wait, born in 76, already had my birthday... THIRTY THREE?

I agree. Must be puberty.



PS.. Mother is coming to cheer along my triathlon endevors. And to read... and watch movies... and generally loaf around without any responsibilities (except making me dinner).

Don't u Hate it When

1. You pull your darks out of the washing machine and see a not so white garment top laying at the bottom of your washer.

2. Vegas Birds sing at TWO O'CLOCK in the morning right outside your bedroom window.

3. The nice quiet fan you bought doesn't drown out singing birds.

4. You get out of the house 5 minutes early only to sit 5 minutes at the traffic light right by your home.

5. You start hitting some traffic just as the radio mentions an accident at the intersection you are approaching.

6. Its only 10am and you are already so tired you can't keep your head up (dumb birds!).

Ya.. me too.

Sick... And Tired

This is where I have been for the last few days. With a few trips to herebut then back up to here because watching TV was too tiring, let alone crocheting. There was also some time spent here while talking on the phone to loving sisters checking up on me.
I spent alot of early mornings soaking here, cuz it helped me breathe. But always back to here I am sick of being sick. I love the fact that we have this (all of which I used)And as much as I love lazing around here when I'm well,Im sick of it. (Look Mom, I made my bed! Its a good thing I documented it cuz its probably not going to happen again for a long time)

I kept looking around at all the projects I was going to get done (well... planning... HOPING I'd at least START) and dispairing. Of course, the really only awful days were Friday and the mornings of Saturday and Sunday. By the evenings I could at least crochet and even sewed up some loose ends.

On Monday I DECIDED I wasn't sick anymore and worked in the garden, shopped, and cleaned house as much as I could between bouts of this. So.. how was ur Memorial Day Weekend?

(PS.. I'm not sick anymore. I decided. I might even go for a run tonight cuz I'm so not sick... After a short nap.)

Strike Three, YOUR OUT!

Strike One:
Last week I decided I should see if I can jump on the coupon bandwagon. I found a couple of coupons I could use at Vons ("Safeway" in the rest of the west) in the mail circulars on Saturday. Of course, once I had waited in line and was rung up, most of the coupons didn't start until the NEXT day. I sent the water back cuz it was pretty expensive, but with the huge queue behind me, I grinned and bore the rest.

The good news is that now I've learned to look at the START date and not just the EXPIRATION date. (and I now have TWO of everything I was planning on buying only ONE of.. 'cept the water)

Strike Two:
Friday afternoon I went to pick up Allison Croggons new book at Barns and Nobles and use a 15% off coupon I had received through email. On the way I ran a bunch of other errands (see strike one). When I finally got to Barns and Nobles, there was no coupon in the car. I looked. Under the seats (found my CD's), down the sides, and even in the back. Fine. Of course, I had deleted the email. I was worried it had accidentally got stuck in the book I returned to the library and I would never find it. Nope, there it was sitting on the table where I had left it.

I went back and got the book... and another one just for good measure.

Strike Three:
I decided this weekend to take some shop drawings home from work since they were taking me longer than they should. I knew I wouldn't work on them, but I took them home anyways. I guess Hope springs eternal.
This morning as I was walking in the door to work I realized I had left them at home. Sigh. 45 minutes later I had returned this time WITH the shop drawings, hoping nobody would think I had forgotten about daylight savings... cuz I HADN'T!

Well, that's it. I'm OUT! Guess my sisters will all have to come and help me get back in :-)

TWO WEEKS!!

PS. I've decided that people who aren't funny are just those who are prideful. They won't share all the dumb things they've done!

PPS.. after all of these incidents I called my Mom so she would commiserate with me. Poor Mom.

More of a Suggestion than a Rule

So... Sometimes my middle name is just to remind me that I am Smart, not because it is necessarily true at the moment. Kinda like the middle names my oldest sister gives her children: the child who picks up after himself, the child who thinks before she speaks, the child who uses her brain, the child that doesn't pick her nose (OK, I made that one up).

For example,
THINGS I LEFT AT HOME
1. My Book
2. A Shirt
2. A Bra
3. My Phone Charger
4. My Camera connection to get the pictures off and onto the computer and onto my blog
5. And much much more...

Of course, I am not without resources so I went to Fry's to buy a new cord for my camera last week. Unfortunately, not all camera's are created equal and therefore not all the connecting parts are equal either. I didn't find this out until I had opened the package and tried to stick a round plug into a square inlet.

Like I said... sometimes I forget my middle name is smart.

Hence this blog rather than continuing the Holiday Saga.

A couple of other things happened this last week.
1. As I had left my phone charger at home and Fry's didn't have any "plug into the wall" type, I decided to leave the phone in the car to charge. I get busy. Next morning.... my car battery is dead (surprise surprise). Thank goodness for mothers who remind me I have a Subaru with free roadside assistance (or in this case, garage assistance). Late to work again even though I had gotten up early that day.

2. One evening, after watching the cops and robbers shows I like, I get into bed and am pretty much asleep when I think I hear something out on my porch. Then my gate courtyard gate squeaks. My mind races (as only half asleep minds can race) through all the possibilities. Robbers, Kidnappers, Murderers, Crazed Wolf, Rapist, Siberian Husky, neighborhood cats... Winder Farm delivery. Anyone heard of Winder Farm? They come by your house and drop off fresh produce during the night once a week. Yup... and open your gate so they can put it on your doorstep.

3. My computer at work crashed on me twice. SO frustrating!! I stuck my feet even further under my desk so I could lay back in my chair in frustration while the dumb thing reboots. As I do so, my leg brushes the the cords and the computer crashes again. What? Ah ha... the tower power cord was loose. All along, I had been actually turning OFF the computer.

Yup.. Smart is my middle name. I'll try to remember this week.

(The winder farm people come tonight... hope I remember)

Turkey Adventures

As I went to Boise for Thanksgiving, I had been mourning the fact that I didn't have any Turkey leftovers. Well, Emily came to visit last weekend so I thought we could have a turkey and I could send some of the leftovers with her.

I proudly showed her the 16lb turkey filling up the freezer.

"Melanie, when you live alone, you should probably just get a turkey breast!"

Little did I know how true her words were!

Emily suggested starting the turkey after Church. Her previous experience (I think of ONE turkey) was that they don't always take the full hours listed on the package and we didn't want it to get overdone and dry. Browning the top and bottom at a much higher temperature before actually baking the bird also cuts down on the time.

Church got out at 2:30pm. I had choir practice at 3:30pm (the LAST practice before our Christmas presentation and I had been out of town the last 2 weeks). I helped tan the turkey and we spent time on the phone with Bethanie trying to figure out how to put the dumb wings (never did really figure it out), but Emily browned, turned, and cooked the turkey (along with all her fingers). She also made stuffing out of the bread from the Santa Run and some bagels she found! I came home to a wonderful smelling house. Turkey permeated everything. We got some squash and potatoes going. Unfortunately no matter how often we checked the turkey, that darn popper wouldn't pop! It was getting later and later (It was FAST Sunday). Finally around 6pm we broke our fast and decided to eat in courses. First.. squash (after snacking on left overs from PF Changs).. then burned stuffing (we ate our carbon footprint)... potatoes... and then finally decided that dumb turkey was done and the popper was broke.

This is Emily checking out what temperature it should be at. I love this picture. You can see all the cupboards open, the many pots required in cooking our masterpiece, Emily wearing the one apron I own, and her hair I put up since her own hands were turkeyed. She looks the quintessential cook! If you look carefully you can see my (well.. actually its Emily's cuz I stole it while she was on her mission) candy thermometer sticking out of the turkey (left a pretty big hole in the turkey). It looked done even though the temperature wasn't quite up to par. I figured I'd be nuking the meat anyways..

After watching the First Presidency's fireside on Emily's laptop sitting in the car (after driving around looking for a free signal), we came home to a turkey smelling house. Emily took a shower cuz she felt greasy... but afterwards she had to dry off on a turkey smelling towel.

Now I have TWO bags of turkey meat and my house still smells like turkey. Its a good thing my VT's gave me a packet of what to do with left over turkey.

I have had turkey dinner every day this week and still have 4 dinners in the freezer. At least I'm ready for famine.

Thanks Emily for all your work and I'm so sad you didn't get to enjoy all the fruits of ur labor!

PS.. do u know how HARD it is to debone a cold turkey? Do not procrastinate the day of the deboneing.

Thanksgiving Stupor and Parlour Games

I'm still in a Thanksgiving Stupor so you'll have to wait to hear all the holiday details. Apparently getting up at 4:00am to fly to Vegas for a full day of work (the boss was gone so I actually had responsibilities! Hence no blogging yesterday) after partying 4 days with the family takes alot out of you. I did sleep a little on the plane and took my usual lunchtime hour nap but still went to bed at 7pm last night... (getting back up around 8:30pm to talk to Emily and Mom on the phone and get some decorations out doesn't count)

Who decided to do the early flight? Oh wait.. that was me. I was once again reminded that time is money. Is it really worth the many dollars I saved by not flying out Sunday night for a full nights rest?

I did get to play What-Am-I with my nieces and nephews Sunday night and eat Creme Puffs (Nathan chowed down on those) and cookies while my brother and sister-in-law went HTing. For those of you who don't know.... What-Am-I is a very old FHE game from my childhood where the performer acts out an animal/character/vegetation (didn't know this was allowed until that night)/family member/object while the audience shouts out guesses. You may think the game is actually called Charades but you would be wrong. WAY wrong. This is WAY different. What-Am-I can involve props, sound effects, speaking trees, and apparently volunteers from the audience. Score is not kept and there are no teams. The Idaho Helm family has only instituted the following rule:

Thou shalt only take 10 seconds while standing on the stage before beginning your performance, unless you are taking volunteers from the audience, the audience members are not yet bored, or everyone is in the kitchen getting cookies.

This rule proved to add more difficulty to the game because often actions performed by the "What-Am-I"ee changed mid performance when they finally decided whom/what they were imitating. It was often best to be patient, although shouting out answers before they get started is acceptable. Oft time a later performer used these guesses as their performance and then I was already ahead of the game.

Tomorrow I will have pictures of the other activities I participated in during the holiday festivities. I know u'll be waiting with baited breath! (I noticed none of my family members have updated their blogs so I don't feel much of a rush)

IM from my Father

Here is a conversation I had with my father and he cannot say anything cuz he can't leave notes! WA-HA-HA!

We enter in the middle of the conversation... and comments not necessary to the joke were left out!

Smart: well.. tell Mom she left a note
Smart: I guess I better do one 4 u now
Home: I'm sure she will be very happy about that. Actually, I think she will finally register with the blog mania thing. Emily seems to think she actually NEEDS to do this.
Smart: yup... notes = love
Smart: comments = love
Smart: so... if she loves us
Smart: .....
Smart: if YOU love us......
Home: You can't equate love with blogging. At least I don't think that equates.
Smart: um... little do u know!
Smart: food = love
Smart: food for brain = comments = love
Home: No. Love=love
Smart: lots of things = love
Smart: u just have to find them
Home: I guess each of us do our own equations
Smart: perhaps we should add a subscript Melanie
Smart: but u'd have to add it for Emily too
Home: Melanie = Love?
Home: This is not logical.
Smart: notes on blog = Love (subscript Melanie)
Home: Well, whatever.
Smart: ok... put the subscript on the other side of the equation?
Home: $ = Love (subscript Dad)
Smart: lol
A few other comments
Home: Your mother wants me to eat breakfast. That's what I guess I'll do.
Home: (Smiley face)
Smart: food = love (subscript Mom)
Home: Right.