Ur Engineer Slip is Showing

This morning on my way to work I missed my exit (shown here... can u believe I found a picture of the EXACT exit I was looking for? Crazy Internet).

Why, u ask? Because I was checking out the bridges! ie.. "Wow that is a big span", "How deep ARE those girders?" and "Why did NDOT ever use flared columns? Octagonal columns are HOT".

Yes, these are the same bridges I have passed under every morning and evening for the last 4 years. Sigh..

In my defense, Jacobs is working on the Southern 215/I-15 interchange and we are analyzing these bridges to be widened. Still, *shaking head* my engineer slip is showing.

Of course... in order to get to work from the next exit (another freeway), I have to pass right by my building, back track alot farther than I thought to cross over the freeway, then finally get on the one way road that I would have exited onto originally.. (big breath) which leads straight to the building.

Lesson learned:
Keep your eyes on the road while driving and stop checking out the scenery, no matter how good looking those bridges are.

Christmas Decoration Secret

I'm going to let it out... my secret decorated house. Yes, you heard me right... MY HOUSE is the secret. I will now share my decorating prowess with more than just my VT's, HT's, Emily and Melissa. I have no other visitors during the holidays even though I BEG and PLEAD for more. Last year I even had the YW come for a meeting. I'm not in Relief Society or Primary, but I offered to let them use my house for meetings and I would even attend them to share my cute ideas. Didn't the Lord tell us to let our light so shine so all in the house may enjoy the light rather than letting it waver under a basket? Too bad they had already made other plans. There goes my willingness to share my smarts (did I mention smart is my middle name?). Sigh. I guess they'll miss out and I will shine my light to my blogging friends and family who really do care.

I got my tree as quickly as I could after Thanksgiving. I'm going home for Christmas (actually thought I'd be spending more time there, but work kinda got in the way... dumb livelihood) and so wouldn't be able to enjoy the tree for long.

I need to draw your attention to some details you might not have noticed at first glance. Do you see the homemade stockings (by me) hanging over the fireplace with handmade yarn angels (by me) sitting on the mantel... oh, you need a closer look?

Here. You will also notice that I hung up my Santa suit on the fireplace.

The dictionary by the fireplace I got for Christmas a couple years ago from Santa. I then received the dictionary stand the year after from the Parkinson Family. Sadly, I don't have a proper tree support to place it on... Just sayin'.

Did you notice how beautiful my tree was in that first picture? No? Well, let me show you. Notice the handmade angel (by me)on top. Emily put the handmade snowflakes (by me) and handmade thread angels (by me) around, even the ugly.. I mean different blue ones (made by me). See how well it is trimmed around the bottom? Spree took the buds off every branch he could reach. The silver ball hanging by the sheep is for him. He likes to say hello to the bird reflection, bump it to ask it to scratch his head, then yell at it for hitting him! Yes, hours of entertainment for both of us. I should get it on video sometime.

And of course, you must see my stairs. I made the gold bow out of left over ribbon from work and the garland was also free from work. There are some lights outside but they don't show up very well so you will just have to imagine the beauty that is my courtyard. The best part of the whole thing is that I have it all on timers. I come home to lights on and a beautiful (albeit dry) tree.

There.. now don't u wish u visited me more often?

BTW.. I accumulate tins. I don't say collect because that implies having rare or antique ones... nope, I just like pretty and interesting tins. The one on the bottom stair was just given to me by my coworker Marcia. Its from the scouts! Never had one like that before.

An ol' Dam Post

It never gets old. I'm so glad I am Mormon and think its funny.

At BYU I had a Earth Dam class. As classmates, we would work on our Dam homework and ask Dam questions of our Dam teacher.

:-)

While I was in Boise for thanksgiving, my big brother wanted me to take a look at a Dam. He's helping the owners deal with the State Engineers and wanted to be able to get my opinion on Dam rabbits they might throw out for him to chase instead of dealing with the real Dam issues.

:-) (Still makes me smile)

I took some way cool Dam pictures! Emily found some on the Internet, but mine are way cooler... Dam cooler if I do say so myself.

:-) (Yup, still funny!)

Warning.. Lots. And. LOTS. of DAM PICTURES Ahead. Those of u who might be squeamish or not find this as interesting as I do... well... u might as well stop reading the blog altogether. I am an engineer after all.

Here is the downstream side of the Dam.




Emily is posing for scale (it's the first arch of the dam) and Jared is showing off the obvious damage the dam has received. The poor thing was built in the 1930's. I actually took quite a few pictures of the exposed rebar and degradation of the concrete, but I won't bore u.

The state made the owners take out 2 bays out and drain the lake because of "fears" the Dam would fail and wipe out the 10 families at the bottom of an irrigation canal. Of course, the fact that the original stream course is in the other direction merrily is the exception that proves the rule. Here is the bay that was taken out.


Jared is showing the scale of the base of the original arch. You can see the large aggregate (engineer speak for rocks) they used. Unfortunately, that is not necessarily a good thing.


Here is the upstream side of the Dam. You can see that the city allowed them to fill the dam up to the first works. Dead storage is at about 200 acre-ft if I remember correctly. Emily is showing the one of the first tries to make the dam waterproof. Obviously it didn't work very well as u can see the matting used to support it showing through and how it is no longer bonded to the concrete.

We then each had to see how high we could climb the cracking concrete. Nathan shouted "Please get off the Dam wall children!" The boys then threw rocks so we could hear the weird sound they made skipping over the ice.

Nathan found the perfect rock for his sweetheart.

Then we went around to the downstream waterworks. Can you see the degradation of the beams they used to try and stabilize the arches? Can you see Jared against the stem? He pulled his legs out straight, but I guess I didn't get it on camera.
On the next bay over, one of the stabilizing concrete beams had fallen down and you could see the rebar and steel they had used to try and connect it to the original Dam.

As you can see they were having a small problem with leakage. Emily looks a little worried.

Of course, Nathan had great privileges so we got to go and see the actual waterworks. These are the same valves put in with the original dam. It was kinda dark and scary, but I got in to look. Nathan said to beware the pack rat living there, but I didn't see him.

That is the end of your Dam tour. Don't forget to tip your Dam tour guide!

OK.. I just have to show you one picture of the spalding of the concrete. You can see the rebar both vertical and horizontal (above the bird nests). The lines in the concrete are from the forms used to cast the concrete. Nowadays we don't use planks in our forms, but they probably needed too back then because of the great depths they were pouring at.

Monday Blockheads

Today as I was driving to work, a man sped out and around me on the eastbound on ramp at Decatur and the Southern 215 while the lady in the passenger seat yelled at me through the window.

Sad. Very Sad.

I don't know why she thought I might understand her because both of our windows were up and her nincompoop companion was accelerating so quickly.

I admit I drive fairly conservatively to save on gas and am never very eager to get to work in the mornings, but I WAS accelerating up the ramp. What did she want me to do, PUNCH IT? I tried not to let it bother me since that was her purpose and I didn't want her to succeed. But it did bother me... A LOT. I was Sad. Very Sad.

Then while stopped at a light after exiting the freeway, I sat behind a small car with "SMYLE" as its license plate. For some reason, that made me feel lots better.

PS. Did u know that blockheads and nincompoops are in the thesaurus if you look under idiot?

Added later: Its raining in VEGAS! I just spent lunch time sitting in my car wrapped in blankets listening to the rain and feeling my nose get colder and colder. It was wonderful.

Turkey Adventures

As I went to Boise for Thanksgiving, I had been mourning the fact that I didn't have any Turkey leftovers. Well, Emily came to visit last weekend so I thought we could have a turkey and I could send some of the leftovers with her.

I proudly showed her the 16lb turkey filling up the freezer.

"Melanie, when you live alone, you should probably just get a turkey breast!"

Little did I know how true her words were!

Emily suggested starting the turkey after Church. Her previous experience (I think of ONE turkey) was that they don't always take the full hours listed on the package and we didn't want it to get overdone and dry. Browning the top and bottom at a much higher temperature before actually baking the bird also cuts down on the time.

Church got out at 2:30pm. I had choir practice at 3:30pm (the LAST practice before our Christmas presentation and I had been out of town the last 2 weeks). I helped tan the turkey and we spent time on the phone with Bethanie trying to figure out how to put the dumb wings (never did really figure it out), but Emily browned, turned, and cooked the turkey (along with all her fingers). She also made stuffing out of the bread from the Santa Run and some bagels she found! I came home to a wonderful smelling house. Turkey permeated everything. We got some squash and potatoes going. Unfortunately no matter how often we checked the turkey, that darn popper wouldn't pop! It was getting later and later (It was FAST Sunday). Finally around 6pm we broke our fast and decided to eat in courses. First.. squash (after snacking on left overs from PF Changs).. then burned stuffing (we ate our carbon footprint)... potatoes... and then finally decided that dumb turkey was done and the popper was broke.

This is Emily checking out what temperature it should be at. I love this picture. You can see all the cupboards open, the many pots required in cooking our masterpiece, Emily wearing the one apron I own, and her hair I put up since her own hands were turkeyed. She looks the quintessential cook! If you look carefully you can see my (well.. actually its Emily's cuz I stole it while she was on her mission) candy thermometer sticking out of the turkey (left a pretty big hole in the turkey). It looked done even though the temperature wasn't quite up to par. I figured I'd be nuking the meat anyways..

After watching the First Presidency's fireside on Emily's laptop sitting in the car (after driving around looking for a free signal), we came home to a turkey smelling house. Emily took a shower cuz she felt greasy... but afterwards she had to dry off on a turkey smelling towel.

Now I have TWO bags of turkey meat and my house still smells like turkey. Its a good thing my VT's gave me a packet of what to do with left over turkey.

I have had turkey dinner every day this week and still have 4 dinners in the freezer. At least I'm ready for famine.

Thanks Emily for all your work and I'm so sad you didn't get to enjoy all the fruits of ur labor!

PS.. do u know how HARD it is to debone a cold turkey? Do not procrastinate the day of the deboneing.

IM with my fellow engineer Akiko

Background: We moved to a new office and I am now across the "narrow crack between cubicle walls"... I mean "hallway" from Akiko. She has been in the United States for 3 year and working for the last 2 of those years. Her husband's company is based out of Japan but has projects world-wide. Right now they are doing the Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge... that is why they are here in Vegas.

I have Cubicle 55 and she has Cubicle 49.

Oh yes, Jason is a young college guy with no morals (I was going to say questionable morals... but working only a cubicle wall away from him for 2 years has taken out the question) and the man in Office 54 has a loud penetrating voice, especially when he is upset.

Helm [8:53 AM]:So.. I think we are going to have to hear all conversations coming out of office 54!
Akiko [8:55 AM]: for me it is just noise.....I mean I can't understand without consentrate conversations. I'm sorry you are colse to office 54. :S
Helm [8:56 AM]: Its OK.. In the old office I was right next to Jason.. I'm used to hearing everything he said! :)
Helm [8:56 AM]: good thing we have earphones!
Helm [8:56 AM]: :D
Akiko [8:58 AM]: you can be a consulting detective and make a report for his wife.

Akiko is so funny! And just FYI, I am not making fun of her English, I think her joke is hilarious....

Mmm.. maybe u had to be there.

To make this an even more interesting post... here is the comparison between old and new cubicle.. don't worry, neither one is a true representation of how my cubicle normally looks. (think piles (and I use that term loosely) of paper spread haphazardly around the desk with books falling over on the shelves) I just want to draw your attention to the change in space, openness, storage availability, room to move, brightness, comfortable chair, and huge pillar to the right.

Running Santas!

Last weekend my sister and I participated in the Opportunity Village Great Santa Run of '08!

Here we are ready to run/walk. Opportunity Village is a non-profit organization that provides handicapped people opportunities to work. They take no funding from the government and provide services such as paper shredding and stuffing mailers. This is the 3rd year they have put on the Santa Run. Last year they broke the Guinness Book of World record for the most Santa's in one place (didn't know there was such a record to be broke, eh?) of 7,269, but was surpassed just a few months later by a grouping in Europe. I haven't been able to see if they broke the record this year, but we tried to help!

We saw Santa cadets running and chanting, baby Santa's in strollers, dogs all dressed up, and lots and lots of men and woman Santa's. Many of them had already started their happy hour (10am? Its Vegas!).

Luckily for us, there was a man helping those along with a message from Jesus...
Even some showgirls showed up! Siegfried and Roy were there to start the walk as well as the Mayor and his wife.

We passed the Weekirko' theHeather Wedding Chapel that is apparently world famous since 1940... Mm.. Anybody heard of it before? We also passed a lady hanging out from the window cheering for us, but I didn't take a picture because we were unsure of her profession. Perhaps she needed that Jesus sign more than us.

We cheered the runners as they passed us (we did the 1 mile stroll rather than the 5k jingle).

Emily tried to get a smile out of the police men we passed by cheering them on too. The first one stayed properly somber, but they gradually softened up along the route and she finally got a wave and smile from the last two.

All in all, it was a fun event to say we had participated in and afterwards we got a whole loaf of Sara Lee's bread! Each! And a couple of bananas and apples. Oh right, and we also got a coupon for half off tickets for La Reve (a show on the strip) that expired Monday. I decided to pass.

K.. I debated on whether to include this video... its just random clips. You can hear Roy talking but really not sure what he's saying because of his stroke. Their support of Opportunity Village came after his attack.

The Great Thanksgiving Day

I can't blog much since we are moving our office today.. but if pictures are worth a thousand words.. how much more are movies!

First the Pictures.

Dinner: So fun with kids. I LOVED it. And Neita is such a good cook.

1st Picture... Wyatt Vannaing the dinner set up

2nd Picture... Nathan draining the potatoes (a manly job)

3rd Picture... Neita turning her back just right at the best moment (ON PURPOSE!!)

4th Picture... Emily stirring the gravy (so it looks like she helped :-)

5th Picture... Jared taking pictures (you can see those results here)

6th Picture... Scrumdillyumptious food

You might have seen me leg wrestling my brother on Amy's blog... here is the rest of the crew.

And now the activities while waiting impatiently for food.

Gage and Joel:

And Melina's activities:

Everybody else was boring so I didn't film them. Actually, I meant to get more video than I did... got a lot Thursday and nothing the other days... just like my pictures! Apparently the blogging novelty has REALLY warn off. At least I figured out how to get my video's to upload.

The rest of the weekend was: looking at a cool dam Nathan wanted me to see and express opinions on (that will be another blog when I get the pictures processed... forgot my digital camera so had to buy a disposable one): having ALL but 2 of the children help me make Pot Stickers for Emily's wonderful chinese meal (Melina might have licked her fingers after working with raw meat... but I haven't heard anything so no news is good news, right?): watching Twilight (I don't feel like discussing my opinion on it... I'm just so glad we went to see the Matinee): and going to Cathy's Basketball game (Cathy is the womans basketball coach at UVU... and they beat.... whatever Idaho people they were playing! It was an exciting game cuz Emily would yell out the name of the player with the ball and I would follow suit with Annaliese right behind. Its always more exciting when you feel connected to the players).

I love my family!

Thanksgiving Stupor and Parlour Games

I'm still in a Thanksgiving Stupor so you'll have to wait to hear all the holiday details. Apparently getting up at 4:00am to fly to Vegas for a full day of work (the boss was gone so I actually had responsibilities! Hence no blogging yesterday) after partying 4 days with the family takes alot out of you. I did sleep a little on the plane and took my usual lunchtime hour nap but still went to bed at 7pm last night... (getting back up around 8:30pm to talk to Emily and Mom on the phone and get some decorations out doesn't count)

Who decided to do the early flight? Oh wait.. that was me. I was once again reminded that time is money. Is it really worth the many dollars I saved by not flying out Sunday night for a full nights rest?

I did get to play What-Am-I with my nieces and nephews Sunday night and eat Creme Puffs (Nathan chowed down on those) and cookies while my brother and sister-in-law went HTing. For those of you who don't know.... What-Am-I is a very old FHE game from my childhood where the performer acts out an animal/character/vegetation (didn't know this was allowed until that night)/family member/object while the audience shouts out guesses. You may think the game is actually called Charades but you would be wrong. WAY wrong. This is WAY different. What-Am-I can involve props, sound effects, speaking trees, and apparently volunteers from the audience. Score is not kept and there are no teams. The Idaho Helm family has only instituted the following rule:

Thou shalt only take 10 seconds while standing on the stage before beginning your performance, unless you are taking volunteers from the audience, the audience members are not yet bored, or everyone is in the kitchen getting cookies.

This rule proved to add more difficulty to the game because often actions performed by the "What-Am-I"ee changed mid performance when they finally decided whom/what they were imitating. It was often best to be patient, although shouting out answers before they get started is acceptable. Oft time a later performer used these guesses as their performance and then I was already ahead of the game.

Tomorrow I will have pictures of the other activities I participated in during the holiday festivities. I know u'll be waiting with baited breath! (I noticed none of my family members have updated their blogs so I don't feel much of a rush)

Utah Again to see the Lovely Bride-to-Be

Actually, I'm pretty proud of myself for only going up a few times this year! Usually I need my Emily fix way more often. This weekend, my sister's roommate and mutual friend was having her bridal shower.

Unfortunately I forgot to refill my many stashes of batteries for my camera so I only have ONE picture that looks nice. I thought I could get good pictures off of my video camera but ya... that didn't work so much. Makes me so MAD! Sigh...

Here is the one good picture... Emily with Max, Sarah's youngest. It was the first time I'd met Max and also Jen's Ruby.. I'd seen them in the tummy's but that doesn't count of course!

The spread was awesome! Emily always does a great job on food. This is only half of it. The rest was on the counter. Do you see those little army men? (DUMB messed up video camera pictures!) Since Jamie is marrying a soldier, I thought they would make good party favors. They ended up all over the living room and kitchen. We also had a bunch of Nights wielding axes and swords.

Here is the bride..
Her sister Erin picked out this crown that flashes (you can see Erin's nose and eyelashes in the first picture). It was pretty funny!

Here is Jen's cute Erik playing with all of Emily's cool toys. All I've got is Lego's, Lincoln logs, more Lego's, army men, little Lego's, and cars. That train was lots of fun!

All in all, it was a fun weekend of food, leftovers, more leftovers, bites from Spree, and enjoying time with Emily. We did try and stop by Heidi's house Saturday night, but it looked like she had company and nobody answered the door. (See Heidi.. we do love u!)

Spree had a really hard time at Emily's with all the people and happenings so when we got home, he did his very very happy dance to the beautiful bird in the mirror. He just kept going and going so I filmed it... sorry, no cute kids to film, only pea brained birds.

It didn't work... apparently it's too big or something... I'll have to try something different later!

Fiber and Catastrophe

So... this post isn't really going to be as exciting as the title sounds. Too Bad!

I've been thinking somewhat about my sister's post and how we become tired of our day to day lives. Enduring to the end is the hardest thing ever... isn't that how the Chinese water torture goes? Its only one drip at a time, but eventually you have a pretty big bucket full of misery. (Take that for a simile Bethy!) Those Chinese.. diabolical. They made everything into torture.. learning to read (those characters don't really mean anything, they're just pulling ur leg)... learning to speak (you can't put diphthongs in your language! DUH)... or eating their food (unless its Americanized and all the eyeballs are taken out).

Like my mother said in her note to Bethy, its sometimes nice to have a catastrophe (a handle-able catastrophe... let me spell it out so someone upstairs doesn't get any ideas... no layoffs, house burning, car crashes, killing anyone close to my heart (far away is OK), or going to jail... and none of this to any of my family or friends... going to the hospital is OK as long as they don't stay over a week and have no lasting disfigurements or pain. Thank you... Amen ) so you can complain to others and have a reason for your unhappiness. Something to talk about/reason to visit/make people worry about you.

Who gets tired of happiness?!?!

Sometimes that is how it feels. Surrounded in luxuries (food, house, clothes, job, friends, family, time and flexibility), I have plenty of time to stew about my weaknesses (fast food, starch, puzzles, chocolate). Really need to get started on that fiber.

Obviously the solution for me is service to others and sharing my luxuries. Anybody feel like being a project? Maybe I'll wait 'till after all the Christmas craziness of traveling here and there and spending money.... or when things settle down at work in Feb/Mar... or after I'm finished studying for the test in April... or after the Triathlon in May with Sarah (you game Melissa?)...

This doesn't help Bethy any... She's doing a pretty good job on the service part with her beautiful children and wonderful homemaking skills. Guess she'll have to find her own solution.

Although I did learn all about wheat in an RS class and could maybe share. Did you know u can use it just like rice? U'd think I woulda figured that out, seeing how its a grain. I must warn you however, that they told us to be careful adding it too quickly to your diet. We all know what too much fiber can do to a body. CATASTROPHE.

To Do Lists.. and Pies

Here is my to do list for today...

Clean Bird Cage
Go Swimming
Young Womans Activity
Finish getting blanket ready to crochet
Pack for Utah weekend trip
Laundry
Finish Watering plants
Drop off Prescription
Pay bills

Here is the to do list for yesterday.

Clean Bird Cage
Go Running
Relief Society Activity
Finish getting blanket ready to crochet
Pack for Utah weekend trip
Laundry
Water plants
Drop off Prescription
Pay bills

And here is the list from 2 days ago.

Clean Bird Cage
Go Biking
Meet for Ice cream with friends
Get blanket ready to crochet
Laundry
Water plants
Drop off Prescription
Pay bills
(I thought if I put them in a bigger font, it would get done)

Do you see a pattern? (I'd list Monday's list with the Single Adult FHE and going swimming... but I thought you might stop reading) I get the activity and exercise in, but just start on the others. I wore jeans to work the first 2 days of this week because of the laundry issue. Finally I just gave up and wore dirty pants (They're dark... you can't really tell). And what is funny about it is that I actually really plan on doing everything on the list! But then when I get home from work, I find I really just want to work on my puzzle, or get on the computer and check out all the websites, or work on my puzzle some more, or read, or work on my puzzle. Yes I'm single, yes I have no other responsibilities, but I'm just busily doing nothing. Didn't some General Authority warn about this?

Sorry my posts have gotten a little morbid and introspective... This happens to me a lot before big trips and vacations. And really.... I think its funny in a sad way.

Oh right.. I was going to mention Pies. They are having a pie contest today at work but I didn't participate. I coulda made an AWESOME apple pie, but decided to go the RS activity instead. Eternal progression or making the number of pies in the contest increase from 5 to 6.... Not really a hard decision.

Packing Day and Related Musings

Arvid has left for the day (I'm just guessing but his light is off and computer is gone) so I have been packing up my desk for the big move in 2 weeks. This is what comes of not asking Arvid if he had a new assignment for me before he left. Nobody I've talked to knew he was leaving. Those even-tempered Norwegians... they don't get excited so you don't know anything exciting is happening! Of course... maybe he doesn't think whatever he is doing is exciting. Mm... Hello!! Not being at work is pretty exciting! I'll tell him when he comes back.

On to more exciting things. Its taking quite a while to pack. When your filing system is LARGE piles of related project papers and drawings on shelves which have spilled out all around ur desk and the floor (Marcia is scared to enter my cubicle)... it takes a while. My garbage pile is about as tall as my chair. Good thing Jacobs is renting 2 industrial sized dumpsters. I must love killing trees. Who knew?

As I have been packing (and now taking a little break), I realized I really don't have many personal items here. No pictures, no coffee cups, no cutesy calenders... I do have my metals from swimming at Corperate Challenge last year and a toy car they gave me at R2H Engineering for my birthday 2 yrs ago (I had told them I've always wanted a mobster car (PT cruiser) so I could put machine guns out the side windows and then stand up out of the skylight with my Tommy gun... I'd demonstrate by swinging my arms side to side.... ratta tat tat!) but that's it. I suppose I've never felt the need to fill my cubicle (other than with paper of course).

At home, I have pictures of my family and friends, drawings made by those same people, as well as puzzles, hats, and blankets hung all around on my walls. On my "walls" here (its a CUBICLE.. no walls), I have the phone list, office layout, sewer and PVC pipe sizes, rebar details, bridge layout, time sheet charge numbers, my sweater, a check for 0 dollars from Carter Burgess, and three long lines of stickers off of every piece of fruit I've eaten (mostly "Cutie" stickers.... I have 7 different kinds of those!).

How odd is that?

PS... Mandy, I was excited to get comments from you of course... just a little disappointed that instead of the 12 people I expected... only 3 people wanted to tell me how wonderful I am.

Now that the Contact Novelty has Worn off

I am on to bigger and better things. I get to go to a seminar tomorrow on the AASHTO LRFD code. As an engineer, I get to be "in the know" with acronyms. All the states in the US are moving from design by LFD to LRFD (even California!! They're kinda special and have always done their own thing, but have now decided to conform. They've been using the 1997 UBC while the rest of the country has gone on to the 2006 IBC! Ya... I can't believe it either.. those crazy Californians).

Let me tell u how painful the switch is.

Remember Carol Burnett talking about giving birth? She said Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and pulling it over your head. Well... this isn't quite as painful as that, but its close.

In the all knowing wisdom of our government, in order to save a penny, we are going to spend many many dollars. Supposebly, we have all along been wasting cheap materials when we could have an expensive engineer create a slimmer design. Oh wait, now we have to think of the effects of wind on such a light structure (Galluping Girdie), erosion (Minnisota bridge), people
(random bridge that really doesn't have anything to do with this), and of course earthquakes throwing our really tall light buildings around (couldn't find a good youtube video of this).

This had added quite a bit to our design burden. Basically, we used to determine the loads on the structure and the say the material is actually 4 or 5 times less strong as we know it is. This was called ASD (Allowable Safety Design). Now.. we multiply the loads we think the structure will see by designated factors and design to the maximum strength of the material (basically putting the safety factors in at the beginning rather than the end of the design). This was called LFD (Load Factor Design). In the future... we get to do a mixture of both and confuse everyone! This is called LRFD (Load Resistance Factor Design).

K.. now that u know all this, you can go on with ur life. And I get to just sit all day tomorrow and be taught. It really is going to be fun and I'm looking forward to it. No scrambling to figure things out, no trying to get plans out on time, no fixing my dumb errors that threaten the design of a bridge that is already in construction (hypothetical situation of course), just sitting and soaking in knowledge. Just like school... but without the stress!

3-2-1 Contact! It's the Answer!

Side Note: I just happened to search on Google for a Little Bo Peep costume ideas a couple weeks ago. Guess what comes up on the Yahoo banner above my email account? "Sexy little Bo Peep Costumes". I saw these costumes while searching but clicked on the little girl/big girl ones for ideas. (and they are around 45 dollars... I wonder if they've noticed the economy lately?) Who wears those types of costumes anyways? Nobody I know.

I went swimming Friday night with my NEW CONTACTS and it was so exciting! OK... not really. I don't know what I was expecting, cuz I just swam like normal ('cept I forgot my puffer so I had to just do drills). I could now see the lifeguards watching me in awe (I'm sure it was awe... it had to be awe. I just know that was an awe smile...I know cuz my middle name is smart) and the older man in the other lane making sure he beat me every lap. I was doing drills and he had on hand flippers... not much of a contest. I think this is the same man that spoke to me a couple of weeks ago about how I push him to swim faster, but I don't know cuz I couldn't see. He said hi this time so I'm assuming he's the same person. Then I got out... and went home to watch Numbers. Sigh... pretty normal.

BUT THEN... Saturday morning I was determined to ride my bike and wear SUNGLASSES! I wear sunglasses in the car that fit over my glasses, but those type portray old lady rather than slick biker. I even got up early and was going to go to the dollar store to pick out some new ones when I saw some left at my house many many moons ago! Way cool slick biker kind like Jared would wear. Boy... did those glasses help me go faster! 34 miles in 2.5 hrs (not counting the hour rest/bathroom break at Melissa's house of course... kinda was hoping for an offer to hop into the spa, but I didn't take my swimsuit so we'll let it pass this time without saying anything). I was pretty tired afterwards, but was way pleased of myself. It was those contacts. If I had only known earlier...

Tonight I will try them out running on the treadmill.

One more contact story... Sunday at church nobody noticed the contacts 'till the very end when one of the YM that came in after YW to try and mooch cookies said "Sister Helm, where are ur glasses?". I had to tell him and all the other woman around that he was the first (and only) to notice! I'm hoping that's not a bad thing. (ie... she looks different but lets not say anything cuz maybe its just a bad day...)

Eye To Eye

Can I just say I have amazing blog commenters? EVERY single reader of my blog commented! And one or two non readers too. Its been a proud moment. But not too proud of course. I learned in Sunday School the other month to used pleased instead of proud so no one gets the wrong impression (I'm not prideful.. or prejudice). Its been a pleased moment!

And.. now that I am pleased of u, I will tell u how u can be pleased of me! Just to help u to be even more pleased, I will give u some background. I am afraid of doctors. Any kind of doctor. General, dentist, eye, plastic, witch. You name it, I'm afraid. OK.. that's the end of the background.

I went to the eye doctor today and got contacts! I am currently wearing them even though I took a nap afterwards (mostly cuz I'm afraid to try and get them out...I'll probably never get them back in again). Don't worry, Dr. Steed told me I only had to take these out at least once a week.

I never knew it was so easy. First, they do the normal checkup where he numbs your eye to look at it. He throws a couple contacts in your eyes and ask you how they feel (weird.. my eye is numb), you watch a little video of computer generated people putting their contacts in effortlessly (HELLO! they are computer generated.. like that's helpful), you go out to the front so u can take them out and put them back in again while everybody points and laughs (I suppose they assume that if you can do it there, you can do it anywhere), they charge you 70 bucks for their viewing pleasure and send you over to pay the receptionist. Simple as ... making a cake out of a box!

And then when your credit card is denied and you have to pay with a check, the nice receptionist takes your check, looks at your ID, writes something on the check and then hands it back to you.
"Is there something else?" I ask.
"Yes, I need your thumbprint."
"What?" And as my eyes adjust from focusing on my check to the little black box she is holding out, I see it is a stamp pad.
"You are serious!" I exclaim.
"Yup", she responds as I stick my thumb in the ink and press it down on the check. "Ever since the DA told us we have to. We do it to everyone." She hands me a tiny towelette in a tiny packet to wipe the stuff off my thumb(must not be ink since it came right off).

I have now been THUMB PRINTED! Now I can relate to those criminals I watch getting booked on "Law and Order".

PS.. I'm going swimming tonight to try these things out... I'll let u know how it goes.

Added Later: I totally forgot to direct you to my sisters hilarious post (although it might be too close to home to be REALLY funny :-)). Especially all u SAHM's (whats really sad is that I can relate and I don't have children!).

What in the World Has Changed?

*I wrote this post this morning but decided not to post it until I was a little more coherent and could do a little edititing.*

Yes.. you read the time right. Its 5am and I can't sleep. Its just one of those nights slash mornings. Thoughts have been whirling around in my brain and I need to write them down.

I've been thinking about what has changed in MY little world since a year and 1/2 ago when I was 20lbs skinnier (I have the work pants to prove it!). So what if the world is going to 'not heaven' in a hand basket? So what if the stock market can't make up it's mind to crash or not? So what if there are horrible problems of honesty in big companies and people can't figure out that if they can't afford it, they probably shouldn't buy it?

Here I am worried about 20lbs. I can't help it. I'm innately selfish. And... as Miss Crawford in "Mansfield Park" by Jane Austin said so succinctly, "Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure". Of course, she turned out to a rather bad end, but that's beside the point.

I am also apparently addicted to lists. I get it from my Mother.

CHANGES IN SMARTS LIFE SINCE 2006 ............ By MSH
(My friend Lizhead from highschool always signed her lists like this)

1. We are going to ignore the glaring change to my physiology (that of joining the ranks of millions on prescribed drugs as well as needing an inhaler before any physical activity) and move on to the next fact.

2. I now live alone. My roommate/friend/huge influence in my life decided last year to move on in her spiritual progression and go live with a man. For some reason she decided to spend eternity with the love of her life instead of with me. *shaking head in nonunderstanding* This actually happened twice, although the first one didn't live with me and didn't effect my daily life as much. Both of these wonderful souls helped me learn that exercise wasn't a terrible evil, but could at times be fun. I miss them so much. I am not trying to garner any pity here (well... not very much :-)), just telling you like it is.

3. I moved down the road. And in so doing, started going to a family ward rather than a singles ward where I teach the Mia Maids. One of the main differences between a family ward and a singles ward is the activities for singles reduces somewhat... around 100% give or take a percent. I have many friends now, but they kinda have families to spend evenings and weekends with. The obvious "Thank you for pointing that out, my dear" could be applied here.

4. One benefit of moving... I am no longer a roommate to the stressful and sometimes mean Katie. She had other issues in her life that I could not help with especially since she didn't WANT help. She enjoyed her drama and negativity.

5. My boss at work changed from crazy broken Dan to solid even-tempered Arvid and funny personable Ken. This means I now saunter into work around eight and don't always leave before 6:30pm. True... I do still get my Friday afternoons off.

6. Money has stopped being as big a stresser in my life.... mostly because of the job change and recognition.

7. Instead of swimming 3 times a week, I started biking and running as well... and tried to at least swim twice a week.... ie getting ready for a triathlon. And don't say the 20lbs is muscle!! Unless u think my stomach, hips, and bum muscles increased from doing triathlons. If so, no one would EVER do a triathlon again.

8. I never was that health consience but with previous roommates we often had big salads for dinner or at least had a vegetable to go with the main meal. Now its hard to even MAKE dinner when a casadilla or a bowl of cereal will suffice. (I especially like chips and salsa for dinner)

9. I now eat 2 packets of oatmeal for breakfast instead of one and eat fishys at 10 instead of an apple or pretzles.

10. I have a Forester instead of an Impreza.

OK.. I think I'm finally tired and will go back to bed. Perhaps I can sleep now with that all off my chest. Isn't it strange the major life changes that can occur in just ONE year?

Voting Day

I voted! I am proudly wearing my sticker. Everybody else voted early so they don't have stickers on. Well... 'cept Marcia. She had her's from last week in her purse so she put it on so I wouldn't feel too special. Thanks Marcia, for helping me with my prideful nature!

I tried to go when the lines would be short cuz of the horror stories I was hearing on the radio in other states. I needn't have worried. There was a steady stream of old people coming in and going out but no waiting (remember... my idea of 'old people' is somewhat tainted by the fact that I see myself as 10 yrs younger than anyone around me). Apparently they were actually doing 2 precincts at the same time at my polling place. I'm glad I didn't wait until the afternoon or later!! The casinos shift change happen around 2 or 3pm. It might be interesting to see the bedlam that could create!

Here's something surprising.... the kids got school off for voting day! How cheap is that?!? I never remember getting the day off. We had voting booths at school and would do our own vote that day. Or... vote at our desk with a ballot. Man... I shoulda grown up in Nevada. They get so many holidays like Nevada Day, Voting Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, 5th of May Day, Mexico Independence Day, Gringo Day, Chile Pepper Day, etc.. (OK.. so I made a few of those up). Mm... maybe that's why their graduation rate is so small. You gotta go to school to learn anything! Sigh... If they would just elect me Queen, I'm sure I could straighten this all out. Maybe Satan's plan wasn't that bad.... I'll just MAKE you do what is RIGHT!

PS. A word to the wise. I am no longer going to post every day. I've been actually working at work and have decided the only way I'm going to keep from spending way too much time here blogging is to not blog every day. And... to maybe even blog on weekends! We'll see. It's an evolving process.

Things I learned this Halloween

1. You cannot leave 4 hours to sew a costume and expect to get a laced up dress with a bustle to go along with the (very cute.. if I do say so myself) bloomers and hat.

2. Do not sew lace over elastic. it makes the elastic stiff rather than stretchy and your poor hat becomes 3 times as big as ur head.

3. Pink makes me look fat. The sash I put on to hide the seams sure didn't help. At least my bloomers were WAY CUTE!

4. Elastic around the waistband of bloomers is much quicker than sewing a drawstring, but then you have to keep hitching them up throughout the evening. (at least they are cute)

5. Even though the slicky material from Walmart is only 1$ a yard... its still hard to sew with and doesn't make a good jumper!! (probably would be fine for a skirt though)

6. Giving out 3 big 5lb bags of candy over the course of 1.5hrs to children you don't know but are starting to look familiar as they make the rounds of the trunk or treat 4 or 5 times gets pretty old very quickly.

7. When going to a trunk or treat.. park next to another car, otherwise you sit all alone with no one to talk too... and it gets kinda boring.

8. Some people don't even know who Little Bo Peep is! (That's why I put the poem up on my car)

9. People don't recognize white ovals cut out from construction paper hanging from a string by your car as sheep's tails. Perhaps if I had used felt?

10. Leaving early from a trunk or treat (only 20 minutes!!!) makes little children going by look at you with very sad eyes, especially when you say you are out of candy. Then you might feel a little guilty cuz you still really do have 1 bag of the GOOD kind of candy but don't want to share! But don't worry, the guilt won't be enough to change your behavior.

10. Sewing shore makes a mess of your living room. Isn't that why I have a craft room?!?! Oh yes.. that room had lesson handout mess all over it. (If you look closely, you can see the jumpers on the right I used for a pattern, the black pants on the left I used for a pattern, on the top right the serving bowl I used for the hat pattern, above the pants the net and material I never used for the bustle... and in front, the shirt and jeans I took off to try the whole thing on.... oh yes, and the sash I threw into the living room.)

11. Playing games with Melissa and Dan and Melissa's parents is WAY FUN!